Listen Like A Pro The fastest way to become a great listener is to act like a professional…

Listen Like A Pro

The fastest way to become a great listener is to act like a professional listener, such as a clinical psychologist. Therapists abandon the need to interrupt or to express their own point of view in order to concentrate on the client’s point of view. The therapist focuses intently and listens totally, drawing out information rather than thinking about a response.

Step 1. Divide into groups of four students. Within this group, each student selects one partner. Sit face to face with your partner, at a comfortable distance, and hold a steady gaze into your partner’s left eye (not the nose or face, but the left eye)—use a soft gaze, not a hard stare.

Step 2. After you are comfortable with the eye contact, one partner should tell of an annoying experience over the last few days. The listener should maintain eye contact and can use facial expression, but should say nothing—just gaze into the pupil of the left eye. When the talker has finished, the partners should trade roles, with the previous listener now telling about an annoying experience and the new listener maintaining eye contact but not speaking.

Step 3. Discuss in your group how it felt to maintain eye contact and to not make any verbal response to what your partner was saying.

Step 4. Select a new partner in your group, and follow the same procedure, with the speaker talking about the same annoyance. The only change is that the listener is to paraphrase what the speaker said after the speaker is finished. If the paraphrase is incorrect, the speaker can repeat the statement, and the listener can paraphrase a second time to be more accurate.

Step 5. Discuss in your group how it felt to maintain eye contact and to paraphrase what was said. How did paraphrasing affect your ability to concentrate on what the speaker was saying?

Step 6. Select another partner in your group, and follow the same procedure; only this time, instead of paraphrasing at the end, the listener is to ask five questions during the speaker’s story. Each partner takes a turn as speaker and listener.

Step 7. Discuss in your group how it felt to ask questions. How did the questions affect your concentration on what the speaker was saying? In addition, discuss in your group the relative importance of each technique (eye contact, paraphrasing, and asking questions) for helping you maintain focus and listen like a professional. Your instructor may facilitate a class discussion about which listening techniques are more effective in various listening situations.